It's been two years since I've flown Delta and now I remember why I stopped flying with them.
No it wasn't the bombastic overweight Indian fellow who talked too loudly and way too much on the PA system and in person which makes one wonder was this an episode of undercover boss?
No it wasn't the overhead light for 42C that after a few minutes got hot and then flickered. I really wanted to read my Christmas book but I feared I or a fellow passenger would be triggered in to a full grand mall seizure if I did.
No it wasn't the 83 degree average temperature during the last half of the flight which makes me ask why I didn't strip down to my v-neck t-shirt. My light weight, 100% Egyptian cotton, dress shirt with sleeves rolled up felt like a full fledge Minnesota ugly Christmas sweater.
Was it the 8 hour flight (120 knot headwinds) with two "drink" rounds accompanied by gold fish or biscotti that made this flight unbearable? No beer, no mixed drinks, no box lunch... nothing but none alcoholic drinks, goldfish and biscotti?
The airlines have clearly used the Pandemic to end the "customer experience" albeit shitty as it had become over the last few decades. Gone are hot towels, drinks, warm meals and a microwaved cookie. Food service is and has always been an economical looser for the airlines but it makes the experience bearable. I'm at the point in my life that I can afford to upgrade but why bother as it doesn't look any better up front.
What about the flight attendants? I saw one that seemed to enjoy her job. Yes just one. Not including the Indian guy who liked his job WAY to much and reminded me of my friend Doug on steroids most of the flight attendants (post pushing the "drink" cart) sat behind curtains playing with their phones.
Some how the airlines don't understand that cabin class flyers are their future business and 1st class customers. Have the airline CEOs collectively forgotten the Happy Meal? Their future profit centers are being aborted in their 40s and 50s. My wife, who is a crazy seasoned traveler said this might be her last long haul flight. She seriously is pondering cancelling our return leg and renting a car. A car? She would rather drive cross country than fly Delta?
So what is the real reason our Delta flight sucked? One thing is for sure... The masks have got to go.
The government is slowly crushing our humanity. Instead of masks of questionable value (two out of four airline CEOs said they are essential stupid) how about taking everyone's temperature at security and actually keep sick people out of the airport and thus not flying next to me?
Duh?
Furthermore, taking temperatures shouldn't stop with the pandemic. How many times have you flown next to or near someone obviously sick? We all have and that needs to stop. Trip insurance should become mandatory and a fever at security or a note from your doctor should be enough to invoke coverage with no questions asked.
Last but not least the 757-200 with it's 3x3 seating configuration should be retired in the United States. No doubt some foreign airlines would love to have them but Americans are just too big. At 6' 3" and 260 lbs I'm happy with all Airbus models and even what Southwest flies but I'm never going to be happy on a 757 unless I'm in front. It's so clear Airbus has the edge and the 757-200 either needs to reconfigure or be sold to nations with predominantly skinny people.
So our airports suck, the planes suck, the inflight experience sucks and yet airlines are back to flying millions of people each day. Does that mean America sucks?
So there you go... Our flight was just really bad. However, it doesn't come close to a 28 hour flight in a military cargo jet, freezing you ass off with yellow ear plugs and little fuzzy blue blanket but it was surprisingly close.
My one takeaway would be utilize temperature checks instead of masks. Make that argument, organize the resistance and get this changed. Remember the FAA for all practical purposes works for airlines why not for once use regulatory capture for good?
Lastly I guess Delta earned one greatful thanks from me... At least I didn't end up ducktaped to my seat sipping apple juice through a straw.
